Natasha's Funeral
by TranquilDestruction
Summary: Clint goes to Natasha's funeral, but when an unexpected guest shows up, he realizes something he should've figured out a long time ago. Clintasha.


**Authors note: This is Clintasha. Don't like, don't read.**

There weren't that many people here, only a few agents of SHIELD, and the rest of the team, of course. But that's how she would've wanted it, simple, but beautiful.

The service was being held in a beautiful meadow on the outskirts of New York, everywhere you looked there was brilliantly mixed shades of nature, it had everything from pine trees, to marigold flowers, to the occasional mockingbird.

It was a simple and elegant location, far away from the bustling chaos of the city. It was obviously beautiful, but if you looked closely you would see things that you wouldn't normally expect. It reminded me of her, but then again nowadays everything did.

"I miss her too, everyday." A nerdy, yet somehow intimidating voice spoke from behind.

"Yeah I know Bruce, I think all of us do." I turned towards the green figure standing behind me. He had dressed up for the occasion, he was wearing a simple black suit, tailored to his…unique size.

"That may be true, but I know they don't miss her like we do, and no one misses her the same way you do." Banner earnestly mused.

"Let's just take our seats." I ground out. I didn't wan—I couldn't talk about this right now. On the way to my seat I saw Pepper. If anyone knew what this felt like—this feeling of raw emptiness, the feeling of losing a part of your soul— it had to be Pepper, or I guess Wanda. But Wanda couldn't come, Vision's funeral was just a week ago and she's still grieving.

"Clint, how are you?" Pepper asked sadly.

"Fine." I reply briskly,"Where's Morgan?"

"Oh, I left her with Happy, they're probably just eating cheeseburgers." Her voice gets twice as serious as she looks me in the eye, "But Clint, how are you really?"

I just looked at her as I ran a hand through my hair, "How do you think I'm doing Pepper? My best friend died, sacrificing her life so that I could live, and save half of the whole god damn universe!"

"Oh, Clint…" But I couldn't let her finish, not now, I just took a few brisk steps to my seat in the back, but as luck would have it, I ran in to Maria freaking Hill.

"Clint." She nodded in acknowledgement.

"Maria." I imitated.

"So where's Laura and the kids?"

"Oh, they couldn't make it."

That wasn't a total lie. I was missing Nathaniel's baseball game to be here. But in all honesty, Laura and Nat just didn't mix well in my head. I care about them both, just in different ways.

When my family first got back I was ecstatic to see them, and I still am. But I just needed some time to process Nat's death. So for the first time in five years, I just wanted to be alone

"If you'll excuse me." I didn't wait for a reply I just shoved past her to a seat in the back.

In front of the seats there was a simple portrait. It was inside of a carved oak frame, with small spiders intricately engraved into the carvings. But, the most beautiful thing about the frame was that at the top of the frame, there was a wooden sculpture of six heroes, in a circle, fighting off an army of aliens.

The photo of Natasha in the portrait was taken right after the battle of New York. Her hair was matted to her forehead, she had blood running down her left cheek, and dirt smeared all over her face. But she also had shawarma in one hand, and a smile so infectious that it almost brought a grin to my face. Almost.

Next to the portrait was a simple black casket, with her blood red symbol carefully painted on the top. It wasn't open, I don't think any of us could bear that.

We went to retrieve the body after the battle. Or rather Scott, and Carol went to retrieve her body. Since they weren't there for the soul stone, Red Skull let them pass, and retrieve her body.

"Welcome to the funeral of Natasha ." Fury looked out on everyone from in front of the seats. He had a piece of paper, but there was no pedestal to put it on, so he just had to awkwardly hold it.

Fury cleared his throat, "I would like to say a few words. Natasha Romanoff was the best god damn agent SHIELD ever had, but before we recruited her she was a solo act. A killer assassin, who only looked out for number one. She posed a threat to SHEILD, and even America. So naturally, we sent our best agent to terminate her." Fury gave me a sidelong glance, but kept going.

"That agent was named Clint Barton. I don't know the whole story, but I do know that instead of killing her, Barton had the bright idea to recruit her. At first I was skeptical, but she soon proved herself, and soon enough she had wormed her way into SHIELD." Fury was about to continue but then he stopped, he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'To hell with this!', then he crumpled up his paper, and stared at everyone in the audience.

Now, Natasha Romanoff knew about 30 different ways to kill someone with a paper clip, and she tried about 20 of them on me when I first assigned her to learn more about Tony Stark. She was pissed, but she did it any way, and she didn't look back after that. Natasha Romanoff has saved my life more times than I can count, and has saved you guys's asses way more than that! And even though she was one hell of an agent, that's not who she was on the inside. No, ever since Loki stole the god damn tesseract, Natasha Romanoff has been, and will always be remembered as one hell of an Avenger!"

Even before Fury had finished, a deafening applause filled the entire meadow. Thor himself, was cheering louder than half the people here combined, Maria had started clapping halfway through Fury's speech, and for some reason Scott was crying. I just grinned and clapped politely.

Fury walked off the stage confidently, but he was obviously distraught, we all were, and one speech wasn't going to change that. But surprisingly, The nest person to walk onto the stage was Maria.

"When I first met Natasha, I thought she was just another spy, a good one, but just a spy. And like all spies I assumed her incapable of emotion, a machine trained only to kill. But that was before I saw her and Clint having lunch one day."

I looked at her skeptically, where was she going with this?

"Clint was his normal self, somehow both happy and depressed. But what surprised me was that the normally stoic Russian was laughing. And not a fake spy laugh, but a genuine one. It was then that I knew that Natasha was different. Not because of her beauty, not because of her espionage skills, and not because of her astounding martial arts skills, but because she had a heart. And since then I've learned that she not only has a heart, but she has compassion, a helping hand, and a desire to help people unlike any spy I'd ever seen."

And just like Fury's speech, Maria's speech got a deafening applause. But this time I clapped with everyone. And I cheered louder than anyone else, even Thor.

"So that concludes our—''

"Shouldn't Clint say a few words?" A dreamy Sokovian accent spoke from the back.

"Wanda! You came!" Pepper said wrapping her in a hug.

"It's nice to see you too Pepper. But I didn't come here to see you guys." She turned towards me "You can't hide from this, sooner or later you have to accept it."

I wanted so badly to punch her, but she'd kick my ass, so I just chose to growl at her.

"No Wanda, I do not think that'd be a good idea." I spat out.

"Clint, I know what it's like to lose the person you care about most. It happened to me! But I didn't have the guts to speak at his funeral, don't make the same mistake I did!"

Clint wanted to say yes but he just couldn't.

"I'm sorry Wanda, I just can't."

She just smiled.

"Too bad."

As soon as she had said that I felt myself being forcefully moved up to the front by some red and stringy magic.

"Fine." I muttered barely audible, but Wanda seemed to get the message. She released me and I grudgingly walked up to the front.

I stared at the audience, but surprisingly no one was laughing. In fact it seemed almost as if they had expected this. Thinking about it they probably did.

More than half the people in this audience had asked me to say a few words. I should've known they'd pull a stunt like this.

"Natalia Alianova Romanova was the best spy I'd ever met. She was cold, calculating, and had no problem with pulling the trigger. Natalia Alianova Romanova was a great spy, but she had nothing on Natasha Romanoff. Natasha Romanoff was a strong, smart, beautiful, badass that didn't take crap from anyone. And while she was still a spy, she was also a friend, a confidant, and a team mate, but most importantly she was family."

I took a breath and continued.

"She was the shoulder you could lean on whoever you were sad, and the hand that would slap you whenever you were being a dumbass. But for such a smart woman she was an idiot. She sacrificed herself so that I could live, but she didn't realize that she was the life in me. I couldn't live without Laura, or my family. Without them I turned into some psycho, who just kills people.

But, without Natasha I don't know who I am. I can't do anything without being reminded of her. Every time I pull out an arrow I think of the missions we had together, every time I tuck Nathaniel to bed I remember the wittiness of his namesake, every time I see my wife, I remember the one person I cared about as much as her."

I take a second to look up at Wanda. With my tear streaked face I put my hands out as if asking her if she's happy. She just motions me to keep going. I don't know what she was me to say or d—And that's when I finally figured it out! And I can't believe it took me so damn long.

I took a breath.

"I loved Natasha Romanoff. I loved the way the sun glinted in her hair, I loved the spark she got in her eyes whenever she was pissed off, I loved the way she could get me out of my own head, I loved the necklace that she wore around her neck, but most of all I loved her spirit. I loved the fire that kept burning through her even when she was down, it was that fire that made her stand up. And it was that fire that made me love her so much .''

An eerie silence fell over the crowd, and for a second I was worried that I had said something wrong, but then the silence was broken.

"Well it's about damn time." Sam said through teary eyes. The roar of cheering after that was even more deafening than Fury's speech. But the people cheering the most were Wanda, Pepper and Scott—for some unknown reason—… And looking at them I'm pretty sure they knew I loved her, even before I did.

Wanda walked up to me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"So you finally figured it out?" She asked.

"I guess I did, didn't I?I loved her. I guess I always have."

"I'm just happy that even though she's—gone. You were finally able to admit your feelings." Wanda sighed.

"Yeah, my only regret is that I never got to tell her."

"Oh don't worry," Wanda said somberly, "she knows."


End file.
